By Netisha Alie
This is a very controversial topic as many have their reservations of why you should or shouldn’t wait to have sex. But Christians are encouraged to embark on this waiting process because it has proven to yield great fruits that could strengthen their marriage.
This is a very controversial topic as many have their reservations of why you should or shouldn’t wait to have sex. But Christians are encouraged to embark on this waiting process because it has proven to yield great fruits that could strengthen their marriage.
Besides the ultimate benefit of obeying God and allowing Him to see that even your most innate desire is not more important than His relationship with you, and that you trust Him enough with your life to know that He will give you only the best, there are a few added benefits that Christians or any who chooses to part-take, can enjoy and look forward to by waiting until marriage to have sex.
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1. Sex clouds your judgment: Sex involves a wave of emotions and feelings that can really overshadow your mindset and thought processes. You may see all the red flags but become so focused on the feeling that comes when the doors are closed that you blow them off and keep pursuing a clear dead end. Emotions have proven to truly have an adverse effect on our life choices and unless you are packing in on those emotional intelligence abilities, it would serve you better to put the sex in a nice box, wrapped in a bow, and place it on the top shelf as a reward for later. If this person is not God's choice for you, you're going to need a clear head to see the signs.
2. It allows you to focus on other areas of the relationship: Once sex has been placed in your little corner, you have now removed the speck from your eyes and like the song says, “I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see ALL obstacles in my way… it’s going to be a bright sunshiney day!” Sex is important but it is NOT the only aspect of a relationship to focus on especially in its formative stages. You want to ensure you can see other characteristics of the individual you are dating/courting and that you can make the decision whether you can tolerate them, or be the sandpaper they need to smoothen them. Also, you can decide if this is someone that you can truly partner with to ‘conquer’ the world. Marriage is not founded on love, just ask Dr. Miles Monroe.
3. It eliminates unwanted pregnancies, possibilities of contracting std’s and other sex-related ailments: How many times have persons had children and wished they had them with someone else? This is just one instance where abstinence can allow you to wait and plan your child without regrets. Getting tangled with someone you only intended to have a one-night stand with for life because you now have a third “little person” in the picture. Or even having an abortion you really didn’t want to have because you are not ready to take on the challenges that come with a child? Sexually related diseases contracted at an early age because the wait seemed like forever? I am not indicating that this is the doom ending that everyone faces when they do not abstain. However, the chances of them happening to you at a very young age are much higher when you become sexually active before marriage.
4. Reduces the number of spirits (demonic) being transferred to you: God didn’t ask us to be equally yoked and faithful because He wanted to be selfish. It is way deeper than this. Sex was created for marriage because of its intensity and what is shared when two people engage in the act. Just look at how much of your parents you see in you. What do you think happens when these secretions are transferred? You are transferring parts of yourselves. So if you sleep with multiple people, there is a huge chance that you have a part of all of them in you. No, you are not bipolar you just have a part of each of your sex partners emerging every now and then. Creepy isn’t it? It gets worst; these parts could include demons, bad personality traits, spirits of anger, and hatred… Sex is truly more spiritual than natural. You truly become one with the person, as we see married couples resemble each other after years of marriage. The good news? You can actually get delivered from these spirits but this part is not as easy as receiving them.
5. Self-control: There is power in abstinence and denying your body (flesh) its desires or rather delaying it the satisfaction. This can be seen in fasting and dieting. –Because we know the end goal, we resist that hot wings and fries with ketchup and mayo that is “calling” us as we swing by our favourite restaurant or we sink deep into prayer and worship when the fasting becomes unbearable, acknowledging that man does not live by bread alone but by the word of God. (Matthew 5) Engaging in such practices strengthens your spirit rather than your emotions and flesh and gives you a level of self-control that can lead you to resist the temptation not just in your relationship but towards others as well. -Delayed gratification! (1 Corinthians 10:13)
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| Photo credits: Brenda L Cotto (Life Coach extraordinaire) |
Finally, Christians can now look forward to these benefits when they choose delayed gratification over the “quick fixes” the world offers. In life we all have choices, and some things may demand a lot from us to achieve but what true accomplishment comes without some endurance and persistence?
Matthew 7: 13 and 14 speak on taking the wide (easy) path versus the narrow (challenging) path and the end result of both. The Bible may be misinterpreted by many however there is true wisdom within its contents for those who take the time to truly seek it, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead them. Will you, Christian or not, choose to gain these benefits or will you choose instant gratification? The choice remains YOURS!
Check out these Resources: The Bible https://www.thoughtco.com/bible-verses-on-abstinence-712097, BOOK: The Wait, by Megan Good and Devorn Frankin, Dr. Miles Monroe. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_N1AzwA01A)
