The Kingdom Spouse

 Written by Netisha Alie-Grant (Author of Inspirational Book Walking a Two-Way Street) 

The list…

He/she must be:

Holy,

Pure,

Prays well

Sound minded

Cooks well

Dresses well

Sees only me…

Listen to Podcast! 

The common mistake that many people make is to ascribe a Kingdom spouse to a perfect human being. However, if your spouse came perfectly wrapped how would you fit into that perfect world? 

A kingdom spouse isn’t without weaknesses nor is he/she without work. I know many may say, I have reached that stage in my life where I have no time to waste, and within reason this is true, however even with this level of maturity you still have a lot to learn and discover and life still has plans for you. So how do you know that in the face of life’s many seasons you’ll be firm enough to keep your current composure? Like you expect your kingdom spouse to be?

It is clear that some hide behind “the church” and the “name of God” yet still have unclean agendas. However here is my take on who a kingdom spouse truly is. 

First things first:

-Dismiss the perfect expectations: A kingdom spouse has weaknesses and imperfections-he/she is a human being who has the spirit of God but is not without weaknesses. Holding them as if they are flawless will only lead to disappointment when they do not live up to them. A guy friend once told me that I should wait for Jesus Christ to come back when I told him what I wanted in a husband. Lol! Focus on accepting the person for who they: Love has no reason! (A podcast episode you should definitely check out if you haven’t yet) 

-A kingdom spouse has a relationship with God. Now if I’m going to be honest and tell you they are not perfect then how do they differ from a worldly spouse? God is in them and they are in Him. The greatest difference that makes all the difference in the world. When you have a relationship with God and you seek Him diligently you take on your identity in Him, it’s how Abraham could have a son at an old age and was “madly” loyal enough to God to take that same son to the mountains to sacrifice him to God. Or how Noah could build an ark, David slay a giant…how all Jesus’ disciples could risk their lives to spread the gospel. It’s the connection with God that breeds a level of loyalty that is beyond this world. 

Thirdly, a kingdom spouse LOVES! 1 John chapter 4 verses 7 through to 21 tells us that we can only love because God first loved us (verse 19) that we cannot know or give love unless we know love itself which is God. If someone loves you, you will know it if you are connected to God and you really pay attention. This scripture (1 John 4:1-6) also tells us to TEST the spirit. Do not be blinded by looks (appearances) and sexual desires, but remain pure and the spirit of God will help you to discern & recognize who they are. You’ll know a kingdom spouse because you are one and it takes one to know one they say! Smile! 

So to answer the question of who is a kingdom spouse? It is a person who isn’t without fault, who is connected to God, so that the love of God is in them and flows through them to others. And how will you know them? Test their spirits and pay attention for “by their fruits you shall know them…”-Matthew 7:16-20 Ces’t Bon?! 

My Side of the Story

 Written by Netisha Alie-Grant (Author of Inspirational Book Walking a Two-Way Street) 

A conflict management skill to increase understanding and confidence in what we choose to accept or believe. 

Listen to Podcast here! 

Joseph was sent to prison because he was said to have made a move on his master’s wife.-Genesis 39:19-21

“19 Potiphar was furious when he heard his wife’s story about how Joseph had treated her. 20 So he took Joseph and threw him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were held, and there he remained. 21 But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden.” 

Why was the Lord with Joseph? Because the Lord knew Joseph’s side of the story! 

Daniel was sent to the Lion’s Den because he was reported to have gone against the king with His actions. -Daniel chapter 6. Even when the king had written his own laws he tried to save Daniel. Why? Because he knew Daniel’s side of the story. 

How many times do we imprison or write off others because of one thing we heard about them, without giving them an opportunity to give “My side of the story?!” Which is their side of the story? 

Every encounter between two people will always have two different perspectives despite of how true the end result is. The way each person views the encounter and what occurred will always be different, even when the final action is that same. 

So how can we truly ensure that we understand a situation enough to draw a rational conclusion from it? By listening to “both sides of the story” then making the decision. (I wrote a ‘whole’ book about this concept-Grab a copy on Amazon today!) 

The both sides of the story increases understanding; this is how you see it but this is how I see it, and makes for a more confident belief in your final judgement. 

In relationships we must always allow each party to share their side of the story if we want to increase understanding and curb assumptions. Too often we are busy forming our own judgements about others without even giving them an opportunity to explain why they did what they did or behave the way they do. 

The media is famous for giving us one side of the story, they always tell us someone killed, someone stole, someone went missing… however why did this happen? What does this story look like through the eyes of the “killer”, the kidnapper”: The perpetrator? 

One reading skill I teach students is called Cause and Effect and I have later come to realize that life is much like this concept. -Something happens as a result of something else: Cause and effect! 

We all see things differently based on our previous knowledge & experiences, even when we agree. 

-To solve conflict, it is great to allow each party involved to share their side of the story because the way you may have concocted the story in your head isn’t necessarily how the other party have done theirs.

So if you want to improve understanding in your marriage, your family, your workplace… with whomever, always create an environment (a safe space) to share your side of the story and let the other person share theirs, then from there draw your conclusions. You could even save a relationship this way instead of destroying it. C’est bon?!