Written by Netisha Alie-Grant (Author of Inspirational Book Walking a Two-Way Street)
A conflict management skill to increase understanding and confidence in what we choose to accept or believe.
Joseph was sent to prison because he was said to have made a move on his master’s wife.-Genesis 39:19-21
“19 Potiphar was furious when he heard his wife’s story about how Joseph had treated her. 20 So he took Joseph and threw him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were held, and there he remained. 21 But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden.”
Why was the Lord with Joseph? Because the Lord knew Joseph’s side of the story!
Daniel was sent to the Lion’s Den because he was reported to have gone against the king with His actions. -Daniel chapter 6. Even when the king had written his own laws he tried to save Daniel. Why? Because he knew Daniel’s side of the story.
How many times do we imprison or write off others because of one thing we heard about them, without giving them an opportunity to give “My side of the story?!” Which is their side of the story?
Every encounter between two people will always have two different perspectives despite of how true the end result is. The way each person views the encounter and what occurred will always be different, even when the final action is that same.
So how can we truly ensure that we understand a situation enough to draw a rational conclusion from it? By listening to “both sides of the story” then making the decision. (I wrote a ‘whole’ book about this concept-Grab a copy on Amazon today!)
The both sides of the story increases understanding; this is how you see it but this is how I see it, and makes for a more confident belief in your final judgement.
In relationships we must always allow each party to share their side of the story if we want to increase understanding and curb assumptions. Too often we are busy forming our own judgements about others without even giving them an opportunity to explain why they did what they did or behave the way they do.
The media is famous for giving us one side of the story, they always tell us someone killed, someone stole, someone went missing… however why did this happen? What does this story look like through the eyes of the “killer”, the kidnapper”: The perpetrator?
One reading skill I teach students is called Cause and Effect and I have later come to realize that life is much like this concept. -Something happens as a result of something else: Cause and effect!
We all see things differently based on our previous knowledge & experiences, even when we agree.
-To solve conflict, it is great to allow each party involved to share their side of the story because the way you may have concocted the story in your head isn’t necessarily how the other party have done theirs.
So if you want to improve understanding in your marriage, your family, your workplace… with whomever, always create an environment (a safe space) to share your side of the story and let the other person share theirs, then from there draw your conclusions. You could even save a relationship this way instead of destroying it. C’est bon?!
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