When they say NO!

 Written by Netisha Alie-Grant 

(Author of Inspirational Book Walking a Two-Way Street & Speaker on The Essence of Life Podcast) 

Listen to Podcast 

The sooner we acknowledge that getting a “no” in response to our requests is a part of life, the sooner we will be able to move on when it happens. 

For some getting a “no” response could be normal. However, for others who are a lot more entitled and perhaps a bit insecure, it can be a very difficult fact to accept. 

Here are at least four (4) tips to help you get passed the “No” and successfully move on with your life! 

• Accept that you do not have control over another person’s choice. When God created us He gave us the gift of Freewill. It’s that part of us that makes us like Him. The freedom to choose. With it (freewill) we even reject God (say no to Him) all the time! We do so when we say no to praying, spending quiet time with Him or even to the instructions He gives us and that doesn’t change His love for us. 

Revelations 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” 

God gives us the choice to say “yes” or “no” to Him. 

• Understand the why (reason) behind the “No” in order to understand how to process it. When someone tells you “no” and provides an explanation accept it for just that. Or even though they do not, still avoid creating stories in your head about why they said it. We sometimes speculate,  so try to be clear on the root of the “No,” to ensure you do not ignorantly destroy what could be a great partnership, by associating the “No” with a negative reason. This leads to my next point which is holding grudges and offenses. 

• Don’t hold offense but discuss it with the individual if you feel offended. Matthew 18:15 tells us; “if your brother has offended you go and confront him privately…” offer to have a civilized conversation with the person to be clear on what happened if it is important to you, instead of blowing things up because you may feel rejected. 

Lastly, 

• Learn from the “no” ! In my podcast introduction I always say; “…view life through a lens of learning rather than judging!” It is important to learn from encounters in life. What can I learn from this, how can I do things better the next time or what did I learn about the person? Once you have clarity on the root you can now examine the situation to learn from it. 

Life is about constant growth and development, and when they say “no!” It’s entirely ok! -Just an opportunity to learn and be better! #CestBonSoundsGood