Why do Church People Gossip?

written by Netisha Alie-Grant

 

 “So I heard from the grape vine that sister …..”

“Don’t tell anyone I told you but I heard/see brother…”

 

 

Have you heard the “scoop” from your fellow church member about another member? Have you ever been to a new church and you thought everyone was “HOLY” until you overheard a couple of sisters discussing another sister in a manner that isn’t fruitful? GOSSIP!

 

When I was a little girl I remember leaning over the church bench and watching the different shoes of everyone sitting in the pews around me. I am not sure if I did this out of boredom, to exercise my swing or to mind people’s business (lol) but I know now for sure this isn’t why we go to church.

 

There are so many people who would love to be opened at church, as they expect it to be a place for healing, understanding and compassion. However, there is a fear that is hovering over the genuine members of many churches today and it the a fear of confiding in someone who does not respect your circumstances enough to make it the weekly “scoop” at church rather than being empathic. It needs to stop! 

 

What is Gossip?

If you do a simple Google search for the meaning of the word you will find quite a few definitions which show commonality. However I will simply share two for the purpose of this article. 

 

1. “Conversations or reports about other people’s PRIVATE lives that might be unkind, disapproving, or not true…” –Cambridge Dictionary

 

2. “Exaggeration or fabrication of a story, regarding someone other than the tale bearer, in the ABSENCE of this person who is being discussed-for the malicious purpose of demeaning, slandering or tarnishing this person’s reputation.”-Urban Dictionary

 

So if we are going to church to learn more about God and to spend time in His presence, to lay our burdens at the alter and to grow spiritually, why are we hindering this growth with such a common sin?  

How can we shout “Halleluia” onto God, pray and ask Him to bless us yet as soon as the service is over we are congregating in small groups or on the phone “exaggerating & fabricating reports about our brothers and sisters life behind their backs…” instead of discussing further the word preached by the pastor or replaying the songs used in worship?

 

The bible speaks of the tongue in two critical ways. 1. “Life and Death lies in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruits…” proverbs 18:21 

 And 

2. All kinds of animals can be tamed…8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 with the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness…” James 3:7-9

 

Which will YOU use your tongue for today? To speak life and encouragement into a fellow brother or sister, or even perhaps if convicted, confronting them in love about a way they may be falling short of God's glory that you can help them with? OR Will we continue to let it be a “restless evil….?”

 

 

Biblical references of Gossiping is a sin? 

Here are at least 5 Scriptures out of a pool of others that speaks to the subject of gossiping and lying. I pray that they minister to us all so that the next time we congregate we will think twice before allowing GOSSIP to flow from our mouths. 

 

1. Ephesians 4:29

English Standard Version

²⁹ Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

 

2. Proverbs 16:28

English Standard Version

²⁸ A dishonest man spreads strife,
    and a whisperer separates close friends.

 

3. Matthew 12:36

English Standard Version

³⁶ I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

 

4. Psalm 101:5

English Standard Version

⁵ Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly
    I will destroy.
Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart
    I will not endure.

 

5. Titus 3:2

English Standard Version

² to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

 

 

There are  six things that God HATES and sadly a gossiping and lying tongue is part of it. 

 

Proverbs 6:16-19

English Standard Version

¹⁶ There are six things that the Lord hates,
    seven that are an abomination to him:
¹⁷ haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
    and hands that shed innocent blood,
¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked plans,
    feet that make haste to run to evil,
¹⁹ a false witness who breathes out lies,
    and one who sows discord among brothers.

 

Gossiping is foolish, divisive & a time waster that definitely sews discord amongst the brethren. And we the church MUST get it right and begin to be intentionally impeccable with our words and learn to SPEAK LIFE! 

Song:Speak Life-Toby Mac https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeBv9r92VQ0

 

 Having information about someone who confided in you and sharing it with others who have no business of knowing because you may be venting, spreading a rumour or your opinion makes gossip a very easy sin to commit. Nevertheless it sure can be avoided. 

 

Firstly examine your conversation and make a decision. Am I going to spend time maliciously discussing someone else with no intensions of helping them become better or am I going to have conversations about critical life skills, Plans, and personal & spiritual development? 

 

Sources:

Gossip(n.d) retrieved on 28^thSept 2020 from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/gossip

Gossip(n.d) retrieved on Sept 28^th2020 from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gossip

100 Bible verses about gossip and lies(n.d) retrieved on 28^thSept 2020 from https://www.openbible.info/topics/gossip_and_lies