Written by Netisha Alie-Grant
(Author of Inspirational Book Walking a Two-Way Street)
So you’d like to be in a romantic relationship huh? Hmmm I’m back with some questions for you. What is your motive for desiring this romantic relationship?
Loneliness? Joining the marriage age crowd, where society tells us that we must be in a romantic relationship by a certain age? Is it because that’s what everyone else is doing? For status? Income? Looks? Why?
Ask and examine yourself deeply. Once you have figured out your motive the next question is Will you still love if that reason changed? What if I told you that you shouldn’t have a reason or reasons for being in love with someone?
Here is why you shouldn’t; What happens when that reason is no longer happening or relevant? What happens if your once rich partner goes bankrupt or your once sexy body become disabled?
The great Dr Miles Monroe puts it this way: “rejection cannot devalue you if you know who you are.” I mentioned this is my last podcast about loving yourself so well that even when your partner may say or do hurtful things to you it won’t phase you because of your knowledge of your worth! This means that once you love you, without reason your love won’t change based on the conditions around you. This should be the same for your relationship with the one you intend to marry.
He (Dr. Miles Monroe) also mentioned that God has no reason for loving us. He doesn’t love us because we behave good, or whenever we pray or if we give to charity. He simply loves us so He sacrificed His only son for us. So why do we love because, whenever or if our partner acts in accordance with our expectations of them?
God, our greatest example of love, never gave us a reason for loving us. So why do we have reasons for the ones we hope to love? Love for a reason creates a condition and that becomes the basis of your relationship. As a result you now have “conditional love” which means there is an expectation and once the condition changes, and it can because life is true to change, the relationship suffers. We hold on to what the person used to do and what we expect them to do so deeply that we become angry and frustrated when they do not deliver. When we love with expectations, some that our partner aren’t even aware of, we create room for disappointment.
Can we see the chain reaction here? Let us make it our intent to love like God loves. Jesus didn’t stop loving and taking care of the people even when He knew that they would betray Him. God doesn’t stop loving us because we fail Him. In the same way, when you consider a romantic relationship from a place a singleness, be sure to love you unconditionally as you prepare to do the same for whomever God lines you up with. And if you’re already committed to someone, it is not too late to get to that place.
#CestBonSoundsGood
